And it is bitter cold! I had to take Travis to work. Some of you may know he lost his driver's license. He had a wreck when he was 16 and then a speeding ticket (ok obviously driving is not his strong point) the next year, and in the state of Ohio, if you have 2 moving violations under 18 you lose your license for 90 days. So his 90 days was up 12/1. He had to take a driving class for 8 hours on a Saturday. Then we took the certificate from that class, went to the Marion courthouse, gave it to them, she hands Travis his license and says "Have a nice day."Sooooo fast forward to right before Christmas. I get a letter from the Ohio BMV that says he does not have a valid drivers license because they did not receive that certificate. Now why would the Marion Courthouse not tell us this???? I call the BMV, and they said they need the certificate, $30, and then he would have to get his temps again and then test for his drivers license again. OMG!!! And Marion knew nothing about this? So I had to get another certificate for that class and send it down to Columbus with the $30 and we are now just waiting. It is ridiculous. But then again, I hope he has learned his lesson.So anyway took Trav to work and have to pick him up at 2. I'm dreading going back out in that cold. Speaking of my son......I have an issue. I came to the realization that I don't like to disappoint him, and I don't like to say NO, but on the other hand, this is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!! This came up yesterday because he wants to go to a concert next Saturday and the tickets are $70. Now he has the money to get his ticket, although what he doesn't get is that he should be saving his money. He is going away to school next year and will definitely need it. He also chose not to work for the better part of last summer when he could have been stashing money away. He left his job at Holister and I literally hounded him relentlessly until he went back to working at Wendy's. Travis does NOT want to work. You see, for him it is all about the social aspect of life. He is very involved in school and extracurricular activities, and he is also a straight A student. So, of course I don't expect him to carry a full time job in addition to all of this. However, I do think that it certainly would not kill him to work on the weekends. He used to work Wednesday and Sunday but he had to cut out Wednesday because of play practice. I told him he should work Saturday evenings but he said no, because there are basketball games, etc. He is a total lazy ass when it comes to working. Oops did I say that out loud???? He simply does not care to work at this time in his life. So where is the line between your teenager having a great time in their high school years (his argument), and learning to save and budget money and making wise choices on how to spend his money????
So back to the concert. I, of course explained to him that he should be saving his money and he didnt really want to hear it. Since he cannot drive to the concert, his best friend (I'll refer to as K) is taking him. Travis asked me today if I would take him to Giant Eagle when I pick him up from work to get these tickets. I asked about K's ticket and who is paying for that one. He said if I charged it they would pay me back. I didn't really like this plan too much, and Travis, in a very cocky tone, said, "Mom, its your charge, it's not like you need to pay the money right away." OMG, is that a spoiled brat or what? Some things like this just slap me in the face. I explained to him that I do not use charge cards, and that would be my debit card he sees me use. I told him that I have 2 college applications to pay for for him ($85), send his ACT scores to both places ($18), and then he has a winter formal dance next week, so there will be dinner and the dance itself. Fortunately he is wearing something he has but I'm sure I'll need to get a flower, etc.
Travis just doesn't get it!!! I swear he thinks there is just an unlimited amount of money for his social pleasure. He was very P.O.'d at me about the whole thing. So I said, OK, if K's mom can give me the money by Tuesday, I will buy the ticket. So I called K's mom and she said "I told them I would not have the money until the week after this next week." It is very tough for them and this I understand. Travis and K make all these plans and never think to run it by us. So his mom is a sweetie. I explained my situation as well and of course she does not expect me to cover K's ticket in any way. She basically said if they can't go they simply can't go. Too bad, so sad. On the other hand she is like me and doesn't want to disappoint, so we left it as she was going to look at finances and see what she can do.
So why do I feel bad???? I truly feel bad that I have to go pick up Travis and say, "Sorry Charley, they couldn't pay me." I know Travis will be disappointed that he can't go, but then again, life is full of disappointments, right???? I really feel like I need to stick to my word about this so Travis realizes that money is not abundant for us. I think the whole thing is I need to start making him save and pay for more things. He does try to put money away from every check, but since he is only working 3 hours a week, his checks are a mere $20 if that. How much can he really save. I think I have done a total disservice to him and for that I feel like I have failed. I told him he needs to look for another job. On the other hand, I don't want to put a ton of pressure on him either.
Can ya tell I'm confused, LOL? What is a mom to do??? No one ever said it was easy, did they????? I'll listen to any suggestions anyone has out there! I'm really at my wits end with the whole thing!
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